Suffering in silence…

Suffering in silence…

We’ve been going through a hard time as a family lately. (Public school issues mainly.)

I know my blog posts are normally only rainbows and butterflies. But I also know we all experience the highs and lows in life. We can never escape it. It’s gonna happen. We’ll lose loved ones. Fight with friends. Get kicked off a team. Have something lost or stolen. Break a bone. Or worse, have our heart broken. Especially as parents, we see injustice in the world. Far too often.

This. Is. Life. It’s bound to happen.

When I experience these things, which I do, ALL THE TIME. I tend to pull away from sharing. Not because I’m afraid or ashamed to share the shit and the trials and tribulations. But because I turn inward. And I have a habit of suffering in silence. Thinking no one will get it. Thinking that I may come off as negative or weak. Fearing that it will only make things worse if I speak of my troubles and stresses.

So today I put my coaching hat on and told myself what I would tell one of my clients.

Don't suffer in silence
Zoe and I

DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE. Ask for the help you need.

Speak to your fears. Name and claim your stressful thoughts. And find someone to help you THROUGH them.

Don’t suffer in silence. Do the work it takes to get you on the other side of this tunnel. Ask for the help you need to see the light. Use all your tools and lean on your tribe so you can find your way and make it to the other side.

We don’t need to suffer in silence. And in my opinion that never works. If anything it only causes us to stuff it down and experience it again tenfold.

There are so many practices we can use to move THROUGH our suffering.

The Byron Katie Work (one of my faves that I do with all my clients but have a hard time doing for myself when I’m really in the soup.)

EFT or Tapping (simple and easy, search it on Youtube. but then you still have to DO IT)

Therapy, counseling, coaching (Duh)

Talk to a friend (Not just any friend. Not a friend who will just agree and say “wow yea that SUCKS” but a TRUTH friend who will show you how you can do better, help you turn your thoughts around and hold your hand until you’re on the other side.)

A 3 part solution I share with my clients in times like these:

(reminding myself of them now so I’ll use them)

Step 1. Focus on the END RESULT of what you DO want. Stop dwelling on and thinking about what you don’t want.

Step 2. Give it away to a higher power. We’re not alone here. Stop acting like it.

Step 3. Safeguard your happiness. Do everything and anything that brings you JOY. Laugh, make love, dance, have FUN because no amount of suffering ever got us on the other side of the tunnel.

Have you ever found yourself suffering in silence? What do you do to get through it?

Xxxx,

How to Step into your Next Level Life NOW

How to Step into your Next Level Life NOW

If you want a blissed out, crazy fulfilling, ‘Holy Shit I Never Imagined It This Good’ kind of life, then you have to change something to get there.

Because guess what?!  The same thing you’ve BEEN doing WON’T get you there.  Yep, you already knew that, didn’t you?  But you’re also still doing the SAME THING.

Here’s the shift.

You have to change your DAILY HABITS.

Our life is defined by our daily habits. Whether they are consciously created or not. Conscious is really the keyword. Because we can create a lot of unconscious daily habits.  Easily.

Feeding your fear with food or TV or social media is an unconscious daily habit.
Comparison and jealousy are too.
Putting ourselves last.
Focusing on lack.
Negative thoughts.

Our triggers, our judgments, our self-sabotage are all unconscious, negative habits that hold us back from living that juicy delicious life we’re after. Look at anyone’s life and you will know what daily habits got them where they are.

A healthy, happy woman has a lot of healthy daily habits. 

She has a solid morning routine.
A self-care practice.
A gratitude practice.
She probably meditates.
Eats clean.
Has a strong community of women around her.
She knows what to do with her fears and shame.
She knows how to manage her triggers.

These are all powerful daily conscious habits.

So yes, the key to your next level life lies in your daily habits. 

Now how can we change them and replace the unconscious, negative habits with new powerful positive ones? I have a few strategies that have helped me.

1. Track and measure what you’re trying to create
2. Remove the obstacles standing in the way
3. Have someone hold you accountable

These three steps have worked for me and hundreds of my clients.  They have helped me create powerful positive habits from a daily green drink and vitamin supplements, new gratitude practices, giving my husband his love language to telling my kids every night that they’re meant for greatness.  They can work for you too in any area of your life for any new habit you want to create.

Check out my 5 Worst Practices High Achieving Women Implement When Trying To Up-Level Their Lives so you can avoid these practices and use powerful positive practices that work.

You won’t believe #5! (Actually, you will, because I’m sure you’re doing it.)

Your next level life is waiting… and oh is it worth it.

Overcoming the Challenges of being Mom with a Morning Routine

Overcoming the Challenges of being Mom with a Morning Routine

I get it. I so get it.  Life can be hard.

Life can be tough at any time, but as a mom it’s especially so.  We have these whole other layers of guilt, fear, shame busyness and overwhelm simply because we’re a mom.

Being fully and completely responsible for so much more than just ourselves takes a toll on us.

Thankfully, I have a great morning routine.  Each morning, I have a process that I follow to get myself into an awesome state first so I can handle the challenges that’ll come my way every day as a busy mom.

I’ll share what happened to me the other morning:

An introductory call was set up and on my schedule with a gentleman in Bali.  I knew he was considering involving me in his upcoming project as a Law of Attraction Coach and I was very excited to learn more about it.

30 minutes before the call, I made the mistake of deciding to wash and brush my daughter’s hair.  She has super curly hair and hates to brush it out so it’s always a big task.  As I was doing her hair, I was thinking to myself, “Oh, my gosh, what am I thinking?”

Just as I finished up, the call comes in and I had to rush my daughter out of the room.  Of course, she didn’t think we were finished and took to banging on the other side of the door for my attention.  All she wanted was for me to braid a lock of her hair but her timing was way off.

I had to retreat into my Morning Routine

Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Stay Calm.

It turned out to be a wonderful call.  At the end of it, I won the result I was after:  the man from Bali invited me to be a coach on his amazing documentary that’ll teach women how to manifest their ideal life vision.  How perfect is that?  Can you feel how excited I am about it?

As soon as we finished up the call, I went to check on my daughter and ask if she was OK. By that time though, she’d completely forgotten what she was upset about.  When I asked her if she wanted a piece of her hair braided, she came back with “Oh yeah, no big deal.”

Just to amp up the stress factor, we also had an overflowing toilet this morning.

Plus our stolen car that went missing a couple of weeks ago, was just found last night.

Sometimes I feel like if it’s going to happen, it’ll happen to me.

So I get it. That all happened.  So much stress.

I have just as many challenges as any Mom out there.

What I wanted to share with you today is that I’ve found a way to move through those challenges with as much peace and joy as possible.

I know that you totally get it and I totally get you.

You are not alone!  That’s what the Badass Mom Society is all about. I would love to hear from you there!