How Your Mindset Determines Your Success

How Your Mindset Determines Your Success

Mastering your MINDSET is the most overlooked aspect of health, fitness, relationships, abundance, AND happiness.  And, it’s the most important if you want SUSTAINABLE success in any of these areas. Most experts fly right past mindset and start with ACTION. (You know, the “how to” strategies, tips and tactics.) They push action and try and force results.  

That’s all well and good, but… It doesn’t work.  Here’s why… 

You have to put your STATE and your STORY (or mindset) first. 

Here’s an example.  You can have the perfect seed, and have the best strategies and follow all the best advice and instructions to grow that seed.  You can water it and get it out in the sun  taking all the ACTION necessary to grow that seed.  BUT, if you plant that seed in the wrong foundation, if you plant it in cement, or in clay, it doesn’t matter what you DO it will never grow and flourish.  So, we have to ensure the soil (or mindset) is a fertile environment for the seed to grow and flourish.

 

This principle gets missed too often, and that’s why success is short-lived at best. To change our habits and behaviors, we’re constantly told to:

Do more 

Force change 

Hustle 

Push past our fears 

Overcome obstacles 

Move outside our comfort zone 

 

These are all ACTIONS we’re instructed to take.

 

But, here’s what happens:

If you don’t address your underlying perceptions, beliefs, and expectations about those (or any) behaviors…

… simply performing the action will NOT lead to sustained success.

 

A few EXAMPLES will help illustrate this point. (These all represent actions, behaviors, and habits that you’re probably familiar with):

– Health: You lose weight by exercising and eating healthy (action). You don’t sustain the weight loss (because you haven’t addressed the beliefs you have around your self worth.  

 

– Career, Finances: You make a lot of money by working, saving, and investing (action). You don’t sustain it, and lose it because you haven’t changed your abundance mindset.  

 

– Relationships: People get out of a toxic relationship, then jump right back into another one. They haven’t changed their unconscious limiting beliefs. 

 

You try to modify behaviors, but ultimately, it’s not changing the end result. You MIGHT see short-term improvement… but not sustainable long-term health, wealth, happiness, or success.  The TAKE-HOME POINT? 

 

You, me, and everyone has old patterns and habits, unconscious stories, narratives, limiting beliefs and thoughts that DRIVE our conscious actions, habits, and behaviors. 

 

We think we’re creating behavior changes through conscious action… BUT, the UNCONSCIOUS DRIVES THE ACTION. Our beliefs whether positive or negative will always create our reality.  

 

We will continue falling back into our old behaviors and habits unless we change and upgrade these unconscious beliefs.  

 

Sustainable change in your health and life means fixing the driver of the action and behavior.

 

Now, how can you do that? See the P.S. below…

 

PS If you’re ready for a NEXT LEVEL mastermind I’m starting a very small intimate group soon with the most access to me of any of my programs or masterminds. If this sounds like something you need, apply here.

Releasing Doubt

Releasing Doubt

I used to question everything.  I used to feel uncertain all the time.  I used to doubt my every move.  Am I living in the right place? Working at the right job? Dating the right guy? Am I kind enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough?  Am I talented? What is my passion? Do I have what it takes? My mind was consumed with these thoughts of ‘not enough ness’ and thoughts of doubt and uncertainty. 

Then one day, 15 years ago, I had an epiphany.  And it came from a source I NEVER imagined it would. It came from a psychic!  (Hang on…let me explain……) 

First of all, this wasn’t just any psychic reading, it was with a world renowned psychic and spiritual teacher Sonia Choquette.  She lived near me in Chicago.   I had been studying her work and similar teachers for years not even sure if I believed in all this at first but was fascinated by it.  Fifteen years ago she did readings in person at her house.  I had a friend who went to see her and loved it so I booked one.  It was expensive (like $500 which seems like nothing now) but I trusted it would be worth it. 

At the reading she said she would share with me what karma I had brought into this lifetime, any spiritual blocks I had up in this lifetime and my life’s purpose.  WHAT?!  I mean who wouldn’t pay $500 to know their life’s purpose?! So I walked in the room, said hello, and she started talking.  She only knew my name and my birthdate.  I said nothing else.  She told me some amazing things.  I could go through the whole reading and you would be blown away by some of the accuracy.  But that’s not what this is about.  This is about my take away from the reading.  It’s about how it changed me. 

My big takeaway was this….

Everything in my life was unfolding exactly as it should.  EVERYTHING.  Who I was dating was meant to be.  Where I lived was meant to be.  What I was doing was meant to be.  Hell the fries I had for lunch were meant to be.  EVERYTHING.  My life was unfolding exactly as it should be and it was unfolding perfectly for the progression of my soul. 

The minute I left the basement office of her house I was a changed person.  I sat in my car in tears over all I had heard. over all I woke up too and all I realized. And my doubt was gone.  All of it.  I knew with certainty that my life was meant to be exactly as it was.  No mistakes.  No missed steps, no missed opportunities.  And…that I could shape it anyway I chose to. 

Now here’s the fun part. My friend who went to the reading and the friends I referred to her later didn’t have a similar experience.  Quite the opposite.  They wanted to hear and feel and wake up to the same things I did but their readings were VERY different. 

About 6 months later I was telling my friend about the reading and my breakthrough and I remembered I had the whole thing on tape.  I had a small cassette tape that I recorded the reading on so I pulled it out and we listened.  We were both astonished.  Not at the accuracy of the reading but by the lack of guidance that led to my breakthrough.  My friend couldn’t see AT ALL how I had found my big AH HA.  She couldn’t see why I left there and released all my self doubt or why I now had a new sense of purpose and certainty and I couldn’t either.  The truth of what I realized was…..I gave that to myself.  

It’s not the experiences we have that determine our reality. Nothing has deep breakthroughs or deep meaning unless we CHOOSE it. We CHOOSE the meaning. I chose to have a breakthrough.  I CHOSE to see my life was unfolding exactly as it should be.  I CHOSE to release all my self doubt and embrace my life in a new way.  We choose the meaning. We choose our breakthroughs.  We choose our reality. 

We also choose our doubts, our fears, our limits and what keeps us stuck. You don’t need a world renowned psychic to tell you that your life is unfolding perfectly.  Neither did I.  We can accept and embrace that at any time.  Actually let me help you…. 

YOUR LIFE IS UNFOLDING EXACTLY AS IT’S MEANT TO,  EXACTLY AS YOU NEED IT TO FOR THE PROGRESSION OF YOUR SOUL.

There.  Now you know.  And all your doubt is released and gone. Now what.  Now what will you do with this one wild and precious life? 

I made big changes after my epiphany but they were all internal to start. I let go.  I let God.  I stayed in flow.  I stopped doubting.  I started living.  I said YES more often.  I questioned nothing my heart said.  I focused on what I DID want.  I launched bigger dreams.  I  believed more –  in me,  in my life. in my path and in my purpose. 

It was a life changing reading but not for the reasons that I saw at first. What do you need to let go of?  What do you need to choose next?

 

IMPROVING your BODY during Covid

Have you been hanging in there?  Getting through this time as best as possible?  Doing anything you can to find the joy and feel good?  Including…. 

Eating more.  Baking more.  Drinking A LOT MORE.  Sleeping in.  Not exercising.  And stressing out your body in general because….duh…these are HARD times.  Maybe the hardest we’ve seen in our lifetime so far.  And lets face it….we find comfort in food and drinks.  Always. 

I know.  I’m there too.  Especially at the beginning of this pandemic.  Before this virus hit I had a BIG plan…. 

On March 1st, right before this pandemic got real in the US, I started a new eating and exercise regimen.  My goal was to gain 4 pounds of muscle and lose at least 2 pounds of fat.  Not an easy task at 49 years old.  But I was determined to get in the ‘best shape of my life’ by my 50th birthday in August.  So I signed up with a personal trainer and nutrition coach.  I got my marching orders and I hit the gym.  I had less than 2 weeks before things started shutting down and the stay at home order was in effect. Immediately my plan went out the window. 

I sank into a rut…. And hit a wall of excuses! 

The gym is closed.  

I don’t have weights at home. 

I can’t workout on my own. 

I need my classes. 

I need to eat more and comfort myself. 

I won’t get through this without wine. 

It’s so hard to eat healthy when I’m at home all day long. 

All I have is this food. 

I can’t do this during a pandemic.  

My excuses were all heavily justified by my friends and family and society.  I saw dozens of meme’s of people eating and drinking their way through quarantine.  I had 2 hard weeks.  I gained fat, the opposite of what I wanted to do, and I  felt worse than ever. Looking in the mirror depressed me even more.  I felt like I was spiraling out of control.  Then someone in my accountability group asked me how my new workout plan was going….. 

improving your body during covidThere it was.   Accountability.   That thing I teach and preach so much about.  Staring me dead in my face.  

I shared all my excuses and justified my lack of results blaming everything on this pandemic. This group of men and women have been following me on this journey for years.  They know my heart and soul.   They know my core values and my character traits.  They know my dreams and desires.  And they know that I walk the talk.  They know what I need because I have always told them what I need. One of the women got me back on track with these words…. 

“If anyone can get in the best shape of their lives during a pandemic it’s YOU.”  

Immediately it was back on.  Those words sent a “FUCK YEA” through my body, sent my excuses out the window and realigned me with my deeper purpose and my desired end result.  

It wasn’t easy.  I had to make A LOT of adjustments.  I bought weights.  Made my office into my workout room.  Found a new program and new workout apps.  I started tracking my food and followed a new diet.  I cut out alcohol.  Stopped snacking.  Had NO cheat days. I got up at 5:30 am to join a zoom workout at 6 am! I started working out MORE than EVER before.  Even during quarantine.  

And….most importantly…..I believed in ME.  Those few words brought me back to myself.  I believed I could do this.  I could defy the odds.  Not just the Covid odds but the age odds and the restriction odds.  I could feel better, love my body in a whole new way, and get in the best shape of my life!  

Fast forward 3 months later….. I have arrived.  I gained 5.5 pounds of lean muscle and lost 5 pounds of body fat.  I am stronger.   Faster.  Healthier.  And I feel better than ever before.  I weigh the same on the scale.  But that’s FINE.  I feel amazing when I look in the mirror.  It’s like a different person looking back at me – inside and out.  And I’ll tell you what…. 

improving your body during covidI didn’t need all these results to feel this way.  

The results came because the belief came first.  

The results came because I felt good first.  

The results came because I loved myself first.  

And the results came because I did what I said I was gonna do! 

I had a goal.  And I stuck to it not letting anything get in my way.  

Desire.  Plan.  Ruthless daily action.  And some accountability to remind me who the F I am.  

What do you need in order to improve your body during these stressful times?  To improve your health and fitness? Are your actions taking you closer to disease or wellness?   

Helping women get results is my passion.  If you want support I have a new beta round of a new course I just created starting SOON.  Come join the movement.  We’ll get there….together.