We’ve been going through a hard time as a family lately. (Public school issues mainly.)
I know my blog posts are normally only rainbows and butterflies. But I also know we all experience the highs and lows in life. We can never escape it. It’s gonna happen. We’ll lose loved ones. Fight with friends. Get kicked off a team. Have something lost or stolen. Break a bone. Or worse, have our heart broken. Especially as parents, we see injustice in the world. Far too often.
This. Is. Life. It’s bound to happen.
When I experience these things, which I do, ALL THE TIME. I tend to pull away from sharing. Not because I’m afraid or ashamed to share the shit and the trials and tribulations. But because I turn inward. And I have a habit of suffering in silence. Thinking no one will get it. Thinking that I may come off as negative or weak. Fearing that it will only make things worse if I speak of my troubles and stresses.
So today I put my coaching hat on and told myself what I would tell one of my clients.
DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE. Ask for the help you need.
Speak to your fears. Name and claim your stressful thoughts. And find someone to help you THROUGH them.
Don’t suffer in silence. Do the work it takes to get you on the other side of this tunnel. Ask for the help you need to see the light. Use all your tools and lean on your tribe so you can find your way and make it to the other side.
We don’t need to suffer in silence. And in my opinion that never works. If anything it only causes us to stuff it down and experience it again tenfold.
There are so many practices we can use to move THROUGH our suffering.
The Byron Katie Work (one of my faves that I do with all my clients but have a hard time doing for myself when I’m really in the soup.)
EFT or Tapping (simple and easy, search it on Youtube. but then you still have to DO IT)
Therapy, counseling, coaching (Duh)
Talk to a friend (Not just any friend. Not a friend who will just agree and say “wow yea that SUCKS” but a TRUTH friend who will show you how you can do better, help you turn your thoughts around and hold your hand until you’re on the other side.)
A 3 part solution I share with my clients in times like these:
(reminding myself of them now so I’ll use them)
Step 1. Focus on the END RESULT of what you DO want. Stop dwelling on and thinking about what you don’t want.
Step 2. Give it away to a higher power. We’re not alone here. Stop acting like it.
Step 3. Safeguard your happiness. Do everything and anything that brings you JOY. Laugh, make love, dance, have FUN because no amount of suffering ever got us on the other side of the tunnel.
Have you ever found yourself suffering in silence? What do you do to get through it?