Yesterday I broke down in tears. It was a long day with the kids. Zoe got mad and threw something that hit me in the face. That’s what triggered it but not why I cried. I cried because I fell into an old pattern. An old story that used to creep up on me all the time. That story is…”it’s really hard to parent my kids.”
And here’s all the evidence I’ve built up behind that story:
They fight a lot.
They have a hard time in school.
They never stop moving. Or taking. Or whining.
They are very needy.
And just exhausting.
That story took over as I cried in my room. With a lot of self defeating thoughts.
“This is too hard.”
“I’m not good at this.”
“They’re so hard to parent.”
“Why can’t this be easier?”
“I’m a terrible mom!”
These feelings swept over me. But not for long. I’ve been doing this work for too long to let this old pattern reemerge. I know not to believe and buy into the thoughts that don’t serve me. I can use them as fuel to make positive change. In this instance to create some boundaries with Zoe around how she treats people. But I can’t let stressful thoughts spiral out of control. Or they’ll start to define me. They’ll define us.
“It’s the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
Aristotle was right. When we know how to let the thoughts that don’t serve us pass us by we can find more peace and love the people closest to us.
This is powerful work we’re up to. Feel it. Honor it. But then don’t believe it. Choose the thoughts that empower you and support your growth. They’re always available.
Believe in yourself, but not in your thoughts. I believe in you,