I cry every day….
People who know me will not be surprised to read this.
But I honestly cry EVERY DAY.
I don’t cry out of sadness or anger or upset. Sure I have as many challenges as anyone else in this life. I have stresses and frustrations and family members who are ill. But still, that’s not why I cry.
Every day I cry for a different reason.
I used to feel ashamed of my tears. My deep emotions. I wanted to be less emotional. I used to work at controlling my emotions and tried hard for years to keep my tears in check.
Until one day a woman in a workshop who sat along side me took my face in her hands when my eyes filled with tears and said “I wish I could FEEL like you do”.
It hit me, that some people don’t get to FEEL all this.
And I shifted.
I felt grateful.
And I cried.
I then decided to let it all out. To live loud and proud in my tears. And to share with people why I cry. I’m sure I still look over emotional. It might make people uncomfortable. But at this point in my life, I don’t care.
I still cry.
I cry every day. And here’s why…
I cry because this life is pure magic.
I cry out of gratitude for every breath.
I cry for beauty.
I cry at art.
I cry when I see moments of kindness.
I cry when I hear beautiful music.
I cry when I sing.
I cry when I reflect on life in the shower.
I cry when I say goodbye to a friend.
I cried eating a blueberry muffin at Starbucks once. That was really really good.
I cry at commercials.
I cry watching my kids sleep.
I cry when I travel. When I fly through the air and look out the window.
I cry when I walk into a church.
My husband jokes that I cry at mall openings. I have never cried at a mall opening.
But I have cried at the opening of the Olympics. And the closing ceremonies.
And my sons soccer game yesterday.
Basically I cry when I feel connected. I cry when I FEEL this life. When I feel alive.
Unapologetically I cry. And I look forward to the moments in my day, those vulnerable, beautiful, tear-filled moments where my heart feels so full I can hardly breath.
When I sip air in through my nose and my eyes well up with tears. Only to be sucked back in moments later when I compose myself. It was a moment of sheer bliss. A moment of REAL life. To feel alive. And grateful. And connected.
I’ve never counted how many times I’ve cried in a day. But I might start now. And I invite you to start with me. Can we FEEL alive and connected 2 times, 5 times, 10 times a day? I’m willing to try.
This is LIFE. This is really living.
Cry with me.