I feel like I’m showing up as a completely different person so I want to share with you a big confession that is something that I realized on this trip to Mexico for New Year’s.
I’ve realized that the limiting beliefs that we have can be sneaky. They can even show up as things that are good for us. While I’ve been here, I’ve been exploring my thoughts and beliefs and thinking about what’s been holding me back. I’ve been contemplating: What is your predominant thought right now?
What are you thinking about? Our thoughts create. Our thoughts or words are what we give our energy and attention to, what we focus on.
I’m constantly monitoring my thinking. Do any thoughts of lack, worry or fear sneak into my mind? Do thoughts of struggle, stress or strife enter to hold me back?
What I didn’t realize is that I’m constantly thinking about food, what I ate, and about my weight and it’s possibly even disguised as something that’s good for me. I’m planning that I want to eat healthy meals and that I want to optimize my health and fitness and those thoughts are on my mind all the time.
- Was it healthy enough?
- What will I eat next?
- What if I gain some weight?
It’s totally insane.
Since I’ve been exploring my thoughts, making myself consciously aware of them, I couldn’t help but wonder why I’m feeling bad about my food choices, even though I make healthy ones about 80% of the time.
I’m still fretting about the 20%
That’s where the limiting belief comes into play – the one that’s holding me back so massively. I’m focusing on what’s not healthy and creating more stress in my body. I’m creating more weight around my belly. I’m creating more body image issues.
Instead of loving my 48-year-old body and strutting around in a bikini with confidence, I’m thinking “I want to lose two more pounds to lose two more pounds to lose two more pounds.”
Amazingly, I’ve never even put words to these thoughts because it sounds so extreme. If I’m honest about it though, I’m operating in a total state of lack and completely obsessed with it.
I realized how completely unhealthy and limiting these thoughts were that I even had a conversation with my husband about it. I expressed that I have a confession and revealed to him that I’m thinking about my weight and what I’m eating all the time. He’s was in complete disbelief.
Of course, these realizations don’t mean that I should stop thinking about optimizing health, choosing superfoods and eating healthy, or about how I can get into great shape. I must stop focusing on the lack.
Here’s a rule I thought I was applying but was clearly failing at:
Don’t eat it or don’t beat yourself up about it, but never do both.
I mean, eating the ice cream at the pool on vacation with the kids is great. That’s a decision I made. I bought the treat, consumed it and rather than following the rule, I let myself feel like shit about it, second guessing my choice. I even caught myself trying to figure out the other things I wouldn’t eat to make up for it, counting the calories and imagining where the indulgence will land on my body.
Just don’t eat it if you’re going to do that, don’t eat it.
What am I going to do here with this awareness?
I think recognizing the problem and bringing it to the forefront, talking with my husband about it and sharing this confession with you guys is a beautiful beginning.
First, there’s the awareness of the conflict.
Second, is the radical acceptance around it – understanding that there’s a discrepancy and trying to figure out how I got here.
I landed exactly where I am from wanting to optimize my health and fitness and to be in the best shape of my life. I get that it’s limiting me because the more I think about the problem of all that’s not the way I want it to be, I think about how my health is not optimized and focus on what’s lacking.
Finally, I figure the third thing is a level of gratitude and forgiveness, gratitude for my body.
I came to these revelations a few days ago and knew I’d share them with you but I just sat yesterday in my bikini at the pool and then on the beach in a different way than I have recently because I just had more radical acceptance and more gratitude for my body.
I’ll even reveal that when I look at other women, yes, I see their stretch marks or their curves and then love every bit. I never judge. It’s amazing that I think other women’s bodies are more beautiful when they’re imperfect, yet I think my imperfections need to change.
And it’s so funny. Ladies, I hope you can relate to this. It’s exactly why I’m sharing in such great detail here…it’s two fricken pounds that I’m obsessing about! 2 Pounds.
Last year I did a body fat test with my doctor, where they calculate your fat mass and your muscle mass. I did it again just recently and I actually weighed two pounds less and I STILL wanted to lose two more pounds even though I’d lost four pounds of fat and gained two pounds of muscle mass between the two tests. AND I’M STILL OBSESSING OVER 2 POUNDS.
Nobody sees those 2 pounds on me but I feel like people do. Our thoughts can be so insane.
Awareness. Radical Acceptance. Gratitude.
The last element to shift is the negative thought.
Becoming conscious of the thoughts:
- What am I going to eat today?
- What am I going to achieve today?
- What did I eat last night? Did I indulge?
- I shouldn’t have had that drink…
- I shouldn’t have eaten that _________.
And then shifting those thoughts into the next step.
Here’s what I started doing over the last 48 hours after finally digging up this sneaky limiting belief that was disguised as something healthy and good. (NOT) I began considering how I can serve more women because of these revelations and how I am enough.
So my immediate shift is to ask “How may I serve?”
Instead, I began planning and picturing all the ways I could do that: other books to write, programs to create, speaking and serving and retreats and my mind just took flight. Suddenly, there’s a more fun and positive place to go with my thoughts. Yes… I’m going to shift to a Happi Place.
The simple and most beautiful way to shift is with the belief that I am enough.
I am enough. And isn’t it as true that I am enough? Yes. Is it as true that everything I’ve been eating and everything I’m doing and all the workouts are enough? Yes, that is so true. I just haven’t been acknowledging that truth.
Instead, I’ve been focusing on what’s missing, on what could be better. Could it be better? Yes.
Is it enough? The answer is again, ‘Yes.’
So I am going to consciously choose to focus on being enough. I am enough. Every workout I have is enough. Even my thoughts around it are enough. I’m going to have radical acceptance around it and find the enoughness.
So those are my two ideas of how I can shift the negative, limiting beliefs and I promise you these things are going to help me to show up with so much more confidence and certainty. And guess what? Certainty and confidence are sexy. Once I’d made these decisions, I was walking around yesterday in my bikini on the beach and by the pool with total acceptance of my body, too extra pounds and all of my beloved imperfections and I guarantee, I looked like a different person.
Ladies, when you show up with that kind of energy, you’re unstoppable.
So that was my confession today and I’m wondering if you can relate to it at all.
I’d love to hear if you can find any sneaky hidden limiting beliefs. What is the constant little voice in the background saying to you? Does it have something to say about your body? Maybe it has to do with your relationship instead? Are you entirely secure there? Your finances, maybe? Is it around your parenting? Sometimes they show up, but in disguise.
I encourage you to keep digging them up. Uncovering those limiting beliefs, revealing them for what they are.
This has been an awesome experience for me. I’m so grateful for this vacation and for the opportunity to come to this realization because I know that I can turn it around and I’ll let you know how it’s going if you’ll let me know how I can support you.
I hope you have a great day. Love to you from paradise.
If you’d like some more tools to help you with this particular dilemma, I have a 21-Day Bad Ass Mom Mindset program starting on January 21st. It’s only $11 to get registered and you’ll get 21 days worth of awesome tools plus more powerful, positive belief mindset talks.