This Holiday, How Can I Love You Better

This Holiday, How Can I Love You Better

Quick question…

How often do you show your partner you love them?

How often do you show your kids that you love them?

Do you do it THIS time of year but not every day?

Do you talk about it openly? Do you know what they need to feel loved?

For me, the magic of the holiday season is a great excuse to love on people more.
I give more hugs for no reason.
I tell my friends and family I love them and wish them well and happy.
I write letters of gratitude and give gifts of thanks.

Easy to do this now.  What if we did this ALL the time.  And what if we dove DEEPER into love over the holidays.

Thich Nhat Hanh says in his book Touching Peace that we should look deeply into our loved ones eyes and say “please tell me how I can love you better.”

If you’re a woman talking to a man I’m sure you know the nature of how he might respond. And it will most likely have to take place in the bedroom. Instead of just shrugging this off, really listen for the answer and see how you can meet your family’s needs.

When I asked my husband this question his first answer had something to do with me in a maid costume. Then, when I pushed him for more, he had a few practical suggestions.

“Support me when I have to work a lot. Help me find time to get out and play hockey. Don’t ride me when I’m tired and dismissive, it’s nothing personal.”

Wow. Is that all?

Seriously….aren’t those great suggestions? Are you telling me that if I do those things you’ll feel more LOVED? Then I’m in! Not a problem.

When I asked my friends they said nothing at first then they told me that I can call them more, and I can send them a holiday card. How easy is that? I would love to love them better in that way. When I asked my sister she said, “you can spend more time with me. You can support my dreams.” My other sister said, “you can be more patient with me.” What wonderful information for me to learn about my family.

What if we asked our kids “How can I love you better?” And really listened to the answer. They might have some great suggestions. The answers might have to do with more flexibility or more freedom and maybe that’s OK. They might want to spend more time with you, and that’s OK too. Or they might need you to be more patient with them or kinder with your words. (um, raises hand…)

But wouldn’t it be great to know how you can love someone better? Why not ask them and see for yourself?

I dare you, this holiday season, ask your Mom, ask your sister, ask your children. Be so bold to ask your husband or wife and see the beauty it brings.

I hope this holiday season finds you FILLED with more happiness than your heart and hands can hold.

How can I love you better?

Steffani

Today I was SUPERMOM!

Today I was SUPERMOM!

My Super Power is – Being a Mom!

Today I had some play dates and ran errands with them. I got dinner on the table and watched a fun movie, had a tickle fest, and rode bikes to get ice cream.

And… I yelled at them. (Like screamed my head off) And sent them to their rooms. Together and separately … and said “oh my fucking God” under my breath about 50 times in just a few hours.

You see this is what it’s like to be a parent … and I don’t care if you judge me!

No, I’m not proud of it. And yes I’m always striving to do better. But I also know how NORMAL it is.  I get that we’re ashamed of it. But raising kids is not easy. If you can do it without raising your voice or flying off the handle you need to write a book, raise my children and become President of the world.

Because, seriously, that’s nearly impossible.

If you’re raising young kids. Especially if they’re as active and explosive and bold and fearless as mine, and you yell sometimes … I want you to know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! and on top of that, you’re doing a DAMN GOOD JOB!

Are the kids alive? Are you alive? Great job momma! Seriously. We’re way too hard on ourselves.

I find a lot of relief in finding the balance between accepting myself, forgiving myself and striving to do better. I’m ok with that, and so far so are my kids.

So maybe we can be not proud but also not ashamed. And maybe we can cheer each other on when we’re super moms. Maybe we can teach our kids in the process how to radically accept themselves and that shit’s gonna hit the fan sometimes and how to move through it and laugh and forgive and go out for ice cream.

What I do know is every day is a new day. And every day we are here is precious. No regrets!

Can you relate mommas?

To connect with me and other like-minded moms, join us in the Badass Mom Society on Facebook.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/badassmomsociety/

How You FEEL Matters.

How You FEEL Matters.

How Feelings Manifest Our Reality

We manifest our reality not just from our thoughts – (Sooo sooo important), not just from our words – (Equally as important).  But also from our feelings. In fact, I think how we FEEL is the most important of all.

It’s the feeling that we’re after anyway right?

We all want to FEEL better.  We want more inner peace. We want more joy. We want more happiness and contentment.  We don’t want the stress and the drama. We don’t want the hustle.

What we’re after is what the hustle brings. It brings freedom and ease. But only if we let it, and we let it by feeling first.

You see, it’s not when you have it all that you’ll finally be HAPPY, it’s when you’re HAPPY that you’ll actually have it all.

Our feelings matter. 

Now I know what you’re thinking… here come the “yea buts”…

“Yea but my husband is so negative”

“Yea but my job sucks”

“Yea but I don’t have any money or time or support”

All those “Yea buts” place an order.

When you think that and focus on that and FEEL that you’ll get more of it.

You need a clean slate.

You need to start FEELING how you want to feel. And you need to feel it now. Time is running out.

Don’t wait another minute to feel better. You have to start today.

What can you do today to FEEL better?

If you need support, join me in the Badass Mom Society. This is what I do. I’ve got this mastered.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/badassmomsociety/