How I Apply the Magic Formula of Determination + Accountability

How I Apply the Magic Formula of Determination + Accountability

Today’s situation… I had workout clothes on since 7 am, trying desperately to squeeze in a workout ALL day. I reached out to 15-20 (literally) babysitters to watch the kids so John and I could go out to dinner. I juggled work, play, kids, dog, lunch, parks, cousins, sugar highs, tired kids, etc. At one point I couldn’t  remember the last time I ate.  This is a VERY typical Saturday. Or any day. 

One thing I’ve learned in my journey of personal growth and expansion is… 

Determination + Accountability = Magic formula 

With determination I can get my workouts in. I am ALWAYS ALWAYS finding ways to hold myself accountable or have others hold me accountable. In this case I have an accountability group that I told I would workout hard 5 times this week. So now I HAVE to workout today. I already missed one day. Tomorrow is no guarantee. I need the drive and I need the accountability. So I squeezed in a workout: 25 minutes of running, jump squats and push-ups while running an errand. Perfection. 

AND….

I found a sitter on attempt number 21 about an hour before our dinner reservation. 

I. Was. Determined. And I was held accountable by that same group. I told them I would plan a fun date night by the end of the week.  I feel Iike these 2 things in combination are highly underrated.  I could have given up on sitter request number 8 or when dinner plans were only 2 hours away but I didn’t.  I kept texting John and our friends that I was “getting closer”. 

Listen, I want to be held accountable for things that will move my life forward. I’ve danced around going on weekly date nights for years. I said I wanted to but didn’t do it. I tried for a while but then let stuff with the kids get in the way. But I know all too well how much it enhances our relationship. 

So excuses be gone.  I want YOU to hold me accountable for a weekly date night. And we can all witness as my relationship improves. Who’s with me? Want in?

Determination + Accountability = Magic

Keys to a Strong Relationship

Keys to a Strong Relationship

Fourteen years ago on July 16th, I got married.  I remember the day I met John on my front steps. I was 15 and he was 11. He was really cute and really charming. It was my block party and I was smitten. But there was one hurdle. He was in 5th grade and I was a Sophomore in High School. Yea. Four years is a BIG age gap back at that age. He was tall for his age so that was good and he hung out with an older crowd. Within 10 minutes of meeting he told me he liked me. He said things like “you’re it for me”. When I told him he was too young he said,  “Will you wait for me?” As if he knew something that I didn’t.

I fell for him….. his light blue eyes, big smile, and thick messy hair. And most of all I fell for the way he made me feel. No Sophomores made me feel like this.  It didn’t last back then. Grade School and High School were too different. But I’d run into him here and there and he would always give me a really charming smile and his eyes would draw me back in.

Ten years later we met again and he asked me out. Actually, he asked me if I’d been waiting for him and if I was ready for him. I was. 

Ten years after that, to the day, we got married. In a candlelit ceremony at midnight with all of our friends and family, we finally said: “I do”.

Now 34 years later from that summer on my front porch, we celebrate our 14 year wedding anniversary.  Although it sounds like an epic love story, it hasn’t always been easy. Actually, it’s rarely been easy.

The growing pains you experience moving through two decades together can be intense. We moved through our 20’s together, and partying and breakups and many jobs. We’ve lost loved ones and John got sober. We moved through marriage and 2 kids and mortgages and more jobs.

It honestly feels like we’ve been through it all. We’re very different people. People would describe us as exact opposites but somehow we’ve stayed together even when he was drinking and using drugs. I saw the real John inside of him. Even when I lost all faith in us, he still saw the hope in me.

Twenty-four years later I wish I could say we have it down, that we know how to maneuver this relationship but I don’t think we do. It’s still work. Issues still come up that we don’t anticipate. We still fight. We still hurt each other. And yet we always, always come together in the end. And he always, always surprises me.

The bottom line is I never think about my life without him. Every relationship is a choice. And I chose John.

When I made that choice to love him unconditionally that was when we really got married. That’s when we really committed until death do us part.

Most of the women who I coach are struggling in their relationships. I don’t have any less conflict or issues than any other married woman.

👉 I just choose not to struggle.

👉 I choose to accept the things I cannot change.

👉 I choose to take 100% responsibility for my happiness.

👉 I choose to love him unconditionally and through it all.


And that has been the key to our 24-year relationship. 
Now my goal is to continue to grow and see just how good we can make this relationship.  I refuse to settle for an average relationship.

For our 14 year/24 year anniversary we’re committing to a few things.

💘 Weekly date nights, without fail and quarterly overnights without the kids.

💘 We’re recommitting to respect, appreciation, and daily gratitude.

 

It will still take work and new habits but if one thing I know is it will be worth it. What can you do to recommit to your relationship? Let me know and we can hold each other accountable.

Celebrating love today! 💘💘

 

My Husband Is So Negative And Stressed Out!

My Husband Is So Negative And Stressed Out!

What can I do if my husband is really negative and stressed out? This is one of the biggest questions I get. And I get it. Our relationships can be the source of the most stress or the most joy. 

I share some strategies in this quick video training I recorded just for you guys. And address how to get along during these crazy times. This pandemic is forcing a lot of relationship issues up to the surface. It’s up to you if your relationship will fail, survive or thrive. 

We have to check in often. And make sure we’re building a solid foundation. 

How’s your relationship doing on lockdown? What can YOU do to make it better? Check out this short video for ideas and head over to my Badass Mom Society FB group for more training like this.

Your relationship matters. Make it count. 

Is there something you want to hear about?  A big question you’d love an answer for? Email me here….steffani@myhappilife.com