Why Choosing Happiness Doesn’t Work…

Why Choosing Happiness Doesn’t Work…

I get the message to “find the joy” and “choose happy”. I preach it. Often. But that strategy alone during these very stressful times doesn’t work.

Check out this quick video to hear why.  (Only 3 min long. And a small surprise guest) 😀

If you don’t have 3 minutes, here’s the VERY short version…

You have to work on your state first AND you have to end your negative thinking. If you don’t do those things first you won’t even see the joy staring you down.

State. Story. Joy. In that order.

Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay positive.

How to Handle Fear

How to Handle Fear

During this pandemic, most people are experiencing a lot more fear than usual.  We’re afraid we’ll get sick. We’re afraid people will die around us. We’re afraid we won’t get back to life as it once was.  We’re afraid we’ll go broke. So. Much. Fear.  

Understandably so.  Now more then ever our fear and anxiety can spiral out of control.  In this video, I share a process that I’ve been using and teaching to my clients for years that helps dissipate fear, helps you get your anxiety in check and can help you come back to a place of peace and happiness.  

We will get through this.  Our mindset will dictate HOW we get through this. 

We will get through this.  Our mindset will dictate HOW we get through this.  

Stay safe.  Stay healthy.  Stay positive. 

Core Value #4: Community

Core Value #4: Community

I hope you’ve been enjoying these Core Values posts as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them. (Missed the others? Start here.) It’s a powerful practice that I love sharing because I’ve seen far too often that people don’t lean into it. When we really uncover our true Core Values, the ones that are right and true for US, then we can feel more purposeful about life and more intentional about who we’re showing up as. It’s that big and can be that rewarding.  On to my Core Value #4: 

Core Values #4: Community

Have you heard of the Harvard Grant Study? It’s one of the longest-running studies in history. They followed 125 Harvard graduates to determine what was the biggest factor in their success or lack of success in all areas of life. To make a long study short they found that your close personal relationships, #sisterhood, were responsible for your success in your career, your finances, your marital status, your health… yep…EVERYTHING.

The intimate connections you have can literally make or break your life.


Let’s face it. Life isn’t easy. It can be hard and filled with drama but it’s a LOT easier with a tribe, sisters, a community by your side. One thing I know for sure is that we can’t climb alone. This life is not meant to be done alone.  We’re meant to do it in partnership, in community.

When my sister died when I was only 11 years old (she was 18) I saw the truest and purest form of community.  Before that day I had friends, extended family friends, and close family, etc. but after that day I had a community of people rallying around me and my family.  Which is something I had never imagined before. At her funeral the line to get into the wake wrapped around the block. There were people for miles it seemed. And of course, we had a lot of people reaching out and offering dinners and supporting us.  But the way the whole community rallied around this tragedy was remarkable. Sure I still felt broken and alone. I felt so sad and so scared that I didn’t know what to make of life. I felt such uncertainty that I questioned everything…. but I also felt incredibly loved and comforted by the outpouring of love and support from our community.  

Our close intimate relationships give us life.  Our COMMUNITY, the one we consciously choose to form around us, is what shapes us.  How important is community to me? It’s everything.

From that early age, I knew the power of community. Yet I still struggled with consciously creating an ideal community around me as I grew older.  There were times when I had no tribe and times when I felt very alone raising my kids and moving to a new town. There were times when people I thought were my community rejected me and where my closest friends turned on me and fell out of my life. I had to keep reinventing what community means to me and consciously creating what was ideal in my life at that time.

Community to me means friendship, support,  vulnerability, and unconditional love. It means consistency, positivity, and commitment.  It’s the thread that holds my whole life together. When that thread has been weak, I’ve been falling apart.  When that thread is strong I’m thriving.

I published an article in a magazine called Illumine about how to find your tribe.  If you’re in search of your tribe or community you can read that article here. 

core valuesHow do we instill a core value like community in our lives in the LeFevour household?  We are all accepting and all-embracing in our house. Everyone is welcome here.

We also go deep.  Meaning we understand the value that vulnerability plays in relationships.  Surface relationships are fine for some, but for me, they don’t hold enough weight.  We like to ask deeper questions, show up for the people in our lives and nourish our relationships with fun, positivity, and consistency so that we all feel the level of support that we need most.

Community is an essential Core Value in my life.  I love to consciously build it online and in real life.  I love to soak in it and savor it for all the ways it enhances my life and everyone’s life in the community. 

What does community mean to you?  Stick around for my 5th and final Core Value coming tomorrow.

PS If you’re looking for an online community that is positive, happy, healthy and doesn’t focus on drama come join my Badass Mom  Society on FB.  It’s the best mom group on the planet. (Self-proclaimed of course)  You’ll find a lot of support and solution-based thinking.  #refreshing We’d love to welcome you.