The Key to Body Confidence
steffani

The Key to Body Confidence

I’ll just get right to it.

Don’t compare your 47 with other people’s 27.
Don’t compare your 47 to your 27 either.

What I mean by that is, the key to having body confidence is loving and accepting your body AS IT IS, RIGHT NOW. In all its’ glory and imperfection. With all its’ lumps and bumps and wrinkles.

I think we get down on our bodies because we’re in constant comparison. With others AND ourselves.

What used to work for me 20 years ago doesn’t work for me anymore. What I could do 20 years ago I can’t do anymore.

And that’s OK. It sure should be ok, it’s been 20 years. And a 47-year-old body that’s had 2 kids should look different than a 27-year-old body. It’s just a fact.

Now I need to be careful with that. I don’t need to accept my body looking worse than I want it to. I don’t need to listen to the bullshit rules out there, like that we gain weight as we get older or that we get weaker or lose flexibility. I don’t need to buy into all that. I just need to fully accept the body that I have in this moment.

At OTF today we ran a PR 1 mile. When I heard we were doing that I got a little nervous. I had flashbacks to my days running races and working with a running coach. I’ve never been a ‘runner’ or very fast, but I used to work at it and now I don’t. It hurts. For me running a fast mile feels like a near-death experience.

But I ran one today. 20 years ago my fastest mile was a 6.40. And wow. I was so proud of that. Holy shit. That was REALLY fast for ME.

Today I thought I’d push myself and try and run as fast as possible. Could I run a 7.30? Maybe an 8:30? All I knew was that I would run as fast for 1 mile as my legs and heart could carry me.

I ran an 8.05. And wow. I was SO proud of that. Holy shit. That was really fast for 47 year old me.

No judgment. No comparison. Just radical acceptance. I have no idea what other people ran it in. I really don’t care. I never even think to look.

Because for me the key to body acceptance is not comparing myself to anyone else or to a younger version of myself.

This is what my body can do NOW. This is how hard I work to constantly improve it. This is why I’m so proud of THIS body.

Now here come the Big Questions/ Bold Answers ladies…..

Do you wish you had more body confidence?
What contributes to your body confidence?
And can you teach me how to take a better selfie? 😆

 

HOW TO CREATE LASTING CHANGE
steffani

HOW TO CREATE LASTING CHANGE

They say change isn’t easy.

Is it hard for you?

I believe it’s what you decide it is.
If you think it’s hard, it’s hard.
If you think its easy, it’s easy.

I used to HATE change. Maybe loosing someone when I was young triggered my change anchor. I remember my mom moving our Christmas tree one year and it sent me spiraling out of control. It was as if Christmas couldn’t happen because something was different. I realized then how hard change was for me. But didn’t know what to do about it.

Now I’m a change addict. I realize that a stagnant life is not what I’m after. Nothing changes if I don’t change anything.

So CHANGE must come.

How can we create the most change?

Through consistent action. Even forced action.
Through I HAVE TO DO THIS OR I’LL DIE kind of action.

If we’re in the right STATE and have the right STORY then our the ACTION we take is gonna WORK and it will create a new reality.

Who’s ready for some ACTION this week?
What comes to mind?
What action do you need to take in your life right now?

ON SETTING BOUNDARIES
steffani

ON SETTING BOUNDARIES

Are you an “obliger”?

My coach asked me that a few years ago.

What do you mean? I asked.

And before she could answer ALL of my “obliging” came flooding back to me. Like a movie reel. I could see time and time again how I went out of my way to “oblige” other people. Never putting myself first.

It’s been a long obliging road.

Even as a young girl I would make nice and didn’t want to make waves.

After college I had a boyfriend who lived in Colorado. He was older than me. When I was traveling in Europe he cheated on me. He said he was with this girl because she had to release her Chee.

(Barf)Not kidding. This really happened.

And I obliged. “Oh that’s ok. I understand”.

WTH?!

I broke up with him a few months later in a letter. Telling him that he was just too much for me. That I was meant for a more simple life and he was meant for greatness. It was the only way an obliger could get out. So I obliged. God forbid I hurt his feelings.

I’ve obliged my way through partnerships that no longer served me.

Through jobs that I should have left years ago.

In relationships that had run their course.

In friendships that were clearly meant for a season not a lifetime.

Even obliging others who I’ve loaned big amounts of money but I don’t want to ask them about it for fear that it might hurt their feelings. Seriously?!

I’m an obliger. Clearly.

And what that means to me now is that I need more boundaries.

I need more self love. I need to put myself first and need to oblige ME.

When I can do that I can consciously create a life I DO want. Not one that’s dictated by other people agendas.

It’s an uphill climb. But with awareness my obliging others habit doesn’t stand a chance.

Are you an obliger? Where do you need to create more boundaries in your life?