Are you married to the ONE?
steffani

Are you married to the ONE?

Do we CHOOSE who to love?

I believe every love relationship is a choice.  There’s not “the one” who’s out there for each of us.  There’s a lot of options and we CHOOSE to make someone “THE ONE”.

The amazing Dan Savage spoke at Afest recently and he explained that there are a lot of 8.5’s and 7.2’s and 9.0’s out there.  We choose the ONE and we round up and make that 8.5 our ONE.  Love that analogy.

The power is in the choice.  

Once we CHOOSE that relationship then we need to ACCEPT them, love them unconditionally.  

Yes we can still ask in a loving way for what we need.  We can still hold each other to our greatest selves.  We can still grow together.  Grow individually.  And enhance and improve our lives TOGETHER.  We don’t need to stay stagnant.  We can’t stay stagnant.

I often feel we focus more on how we need our partner to change then we do on our own growth and expansion.  I’m guilty of this too.  When I look at my husband and think about what HE needs…

 

He needs to be more positive

He needs to pay more attention to me

He needs to be more present

 

Can I turn all of that around and see how I need to do the same?  YES YES YES.

We buckled ourselves in to this roller coaster ride together.  The ups and downs the steep climbs, the free falls.  ALL of it.  Why would I ever complain about the ride?  Or the price of admission?

If this is what I need to pay to be with him, to go on this beautiful ride, then I am HAPPY with it.  I can accept it, love it, and even be grateful for it.

When I had this revelation after hearing Dan Savage a few months ago I immediately wanted to share it with John.  Instead…. I APPLIED it first.

What’s the price of admission that I pay to be with him?

A temper?  Some negativity?  Him working long hours?  Not being present?  Lack of communication?  The fact that he never cleans up after making his late night PB&J?

If that’s the price of admission I have to pay for this life.  To be WITH HIM and have these amazing kids and go on this roller coaster ride.  Then I’m all in.  Hell yea.

And believe me, he pays a price to be with me.

The fact that I love to travel.  My obsession with personal development.  The supplements and superfoods that take over every cabinet in our kitchen.

PRICE OF ADMISSION.  Is it worth it?  I sure hope so.

So I applied this lesson first.  And started looking very differently at John.  I was more patient with him.  I stopped trying to change him.  I stopped chasing him around the kitchen asking him to clean his shit up.

And THEN I shared this lesson with him.  And explained how it was helping me to be more unconditionally loving and accepting of him.  He got it.  And saw what my price of admission was.

 

Our LOVE is a CHOICE.  

 

xxx,

Steff

Are you aware of your Universal assignments?
steffani

Are you aware of your Universal assignments?

Do you know your Universal assignments?

I had a Universal assignment to lose my sister when I was 11 years old.

So that I would learn about loss very early on. And would be able to support others through loss later in my life.

I had a Universal assignment to have an alcoholic father.

I chose him so that I would be independent and learn not to depend on men but to take 100% responsibility for my life.

I had a Universal assignment that school didn’t come easy for me.

I placed an order for 2 kids that share the same struggle.

I also believe this is a reward life for me. That I am meant prosper. Another Universal assignment.

My husband and I have a Universal assigment to be together and raise these kids together. AND it’s a Universal assignment that he has a temper and that we’re so incredibly opposite. (Hint: these Universal assignments are also insights into the Price of Admission, mentioned in my last email, meaning things we should NOT bitch about…) 

My son being born early and colicky was a Universal assignment. I was meant to experience that so that I would really understand what women go through and so that I could more appreciate the good times.

I have a Universal assignment to travel the world. It lights my soul on fire.

I have a Universal assignment to be surrounded by transformational leaders and amazing humanitarians.

So I’ll be challenged to raise the bar and always inspired to do better.

I have a Universal assignment to teach what I know. I can’t experience anything without then teaching it.

I have a Universal assignment to help Moms find more lasting happiness.

It’s why I’m here. And what fulfills me.

What are your Universal assignments?

steffani

If you want MORE I totally get it…

First of all…it’s OK.

It’s OK to want MORE.  Even as a mom with amazing kids it’s OK to WANT MORE.

Now that that’s out of the way… (step aside mom guilt) I have MORE to say.

You also don’t need to settle for LESS.

Yep.  I said it.  STOP SETTLING.

Stop settling for less joy
Stop settling for overwhelm
Stop settling for a relationship that’s not as romantic as you want it to be
Stop settling in a space where you yell every damn day
Stop settling for a job you don’t love
Stop living in a  house you don’t love
Stop eating food you don’t love
Stop living a life where you’re settling for less than you DESERVE 

Ut oh, now we’re opening up a whole new can of worms…here come the unworthy thoughts and feelings.

I get it. You are not alone!

But deep down inside I WANT MORE.  And even deeper down I KNOW I DESERVE MORE.

If you know that too.  Then it’s time.

It’s time to expect MORE!  

MORE out of life!
MORE from your health.
MORE from your relationships.
MORE from your parenting.
MORE from yourself.
MORE LOVE.
MORE laughter.
MORE balance.

See, we KNOW we are in control. But this Mom journey sometimes has us feeling WAY out of control.

And its time to take back control.

Because WE create our THOUGHTS. Our THOUGHTS create our INTENTIONS. And our INTENTIONS create our REALITY.

It’s that simple. Not easy. But that simple.

In my Happi Mom Squad, we take back control.

Of our THOUGHTS
Of our EXCUSES
Of our WORDS
Of our negative self talk
Of our REACTIONS
Of our limiting beliefs
Of our STATE
Of our FEELINGS
Of our LIVES
Of our happiness!

Because THIS is the type of Mom that we want to BE.  THIS is the type of Mom our kids deserve.  This is the type of mom who’s living a life we’re all striving for.  THIS is the type of Mom the world needs more of.

If you’re a Mom on a mission and you want MORE we know how you feel. And we’re here to climb with you.